5 yrs ago & 9 months *3 of 4*

(Note: some of these dates maybe off it was a crazy year that Year.)

Around this time i found out i was pregnant. This was a very scary day, because of the situation i was hoping that it wouldn't happen.
My mom was out of town with my siblings and i was in the bathroom doing my business and all of the sudden i get this feeling, i don't know how to describe it, but it was like an electric zap that had electrocuted my whole body and it was almost like a voice had told me your pregnant, i called my mom while in the bathroom and explained to her what happened and that i needed to get a pregnancy test STAT!!! BAD idea my mom was in the in Idaho and i really should have just waited to call her but i was in so much shock didn't think, and man i didn't know someone could drive so fast, between all of this i finally got the courage to call me aunt and tell her what was going on, she came to the house picked me up took me to the store bought me a pregnancy test and took me to her house......................

At this time i ran down stairs where i hoped no one would be so i could go in the bathroom and do my thing, well my cousin was down there, so i ran in the bathroom before she could say anything to me, and i peed O-M-G did this pee seem like forever it was like watching a slow motion video, before i could even get the cap on the test it had already began changing and it was so fast i had never seen something change so fast when i saw the - then the + My hand trembled it was like i had no control over my body i fell to my knees and screamed so loud and started crying bloody murder and i remember every part of this i said abortion over and over again My cousin comes running in she had no clue what was going on, and when she saw it she just held me close and tried to comfort me, but comfort was not helping me at all.

When i got up stairs my mom was there, and so was everyone else, everyone was crying, and in tears, i think everybody was in shock, my uncle called the police so they were there, and it was so much to take in at once.

Then my mom took me to the emergency room, and how embarrassing is that to tell someone i was raped and then have to be BLAH this whole thing is just crazy everything you have to go through for that and the questions and detail and its just emotional, almost wish i had just kept everything to myself.

I'm glad i didn't, i went back to church with my mom, aunt and uncle, and it was the first Sunday of the month February i remember cause i hated the first Sunday of the month (testimony days) YUK. anyway i just had this feeling that i needed to talk get something off my chest so i did i got up there and said what i needed to say, and when church was over my bishop came up to me and asked what i was going to do?

I told him i didn't know, he told me if i needed anything that his door was wide open for me to come talk, and he handed me this card that read * LDS family services* He said I'm not telling you have to, but if it is something you would consider you should give them a call.

I took it shook hands and went home, the next day Monday i called LDS family services they set an appointment for me to come in i went in and met my caseworker and she asked me questions and the whole shabang and gave me a few profiles to look at i think there as five or 6 of them in there. I explained to her that if i considered this that i wanted open adoption, and she said i think you will like the selection that i have given you then, so i took them home and Mom and I looked at them. We looked at the first one and right off we said NO! just didn't get a spark but as i was flipping to the second profile this family stuck out at me * goosebumps* :D it was like i didn't even have to read their profile it was just like in the bathroom a major shock and a voice that said pick them.

So i called up my case worker and told her about the family that had caught my attention so she had me bring in the other profiles and told me to keep that one and think about it, i took it home and immediately i just knew it was them again, i told her i don't need to think about it this is it. I know it is.

So i wrote a letter to the family end of February, well i did more then write a letter, i did kinda of a birthday card look and on the inside i glued some ultrasound pictures in there and in writing i wrote ITS A GIRL. took it to the caseworker and she sent it out to the families caseworker and well i have the letter the family wrote to me saying everything that went through there mind, and if she says its okay i will post it on another blog another day i still read it to this day i get teary eyed and start sobbing, but who would of thought how much of a strong feeling you could get for someone when you don't even know them all you have is a picture of the family a letter the family wrote talking about them and profile.

It was March when i heard back from them, i told them Hallie's, due date was in July i guess their daughter was really excited to hear that because Her birthday was in July as well, so i couldn't have been more happy for her as well, but as time went on the pregnancy got a little difficult i was put on bed rest and i had all day sickness through the whole 9 months and it was kind of miserable, but my mom gave me her scope so i could hear the babies heart beat and that was the best part of the whole thing being able to talk to her and tell her about her new family an read to her the letters they wrote, and listen to her moves inside my tummy, before i new it June had come around.

Sunday June 19Th The family was over at my aunts for Sunday dinner, and i was not feeling right, my back was hurting, i was in some pain, and finally my aunt and cousin timed the contractions and rubbed my feet *oh that felt so good* and when they were 3 min apart it was time to go into the women's center and find out was going on.

It was 6 pm when we went in i SWORE i was in the room for a few hours in so much pain the contractions were getting worse and they wouldn't give me anything till the nurse came in to check my cervix and gees that felt like forever, but sure enough she comes in and checks and said YEP you were right your going into labor I'm thinking to myself well obviously DUH anyway i cant remember when my water broke exactly, but i do know i was in there from Sunday 6 pm till 12:30 pm Monday afternoon and finally she was ready to come, 1pm Monday afternoon there was Hallie. :) 7lbs 1oz 20in. My mom says she wil never forget that day because When she was having me * she went in Sunday afternoon and had me monday at 1 in the afternoon as well. i thought that was pretty neat*

Now Hallie is 5 years old, cute as ever has 2 sisters and 1 brother, a good mom and dad and very big family. I love Her and everyone who surrounds her with love and happyness. :D