I am going nutz!!!

Everyone is worrier and is always going to be thinking, and well i am thinking constantly. How, What, When, Where i am going crazy i just want to know that everything is going to be okay. HUM!!!! i have stuff running through my mind and i don't where to begin, and I'm stressing for nothing. I just don't know why i can't seem to calm down i take deep breaths and that just makes it worse. :( I'm going to break down and cry. I love Chris a lot and his job might not pay a lot right now and after he has worked there for a year and more he will start getting his raises, but it is still hard to live, and everyone tells me are you sure you did the right thing? Well I'm not going to marry him just because he doesn't make a lot of money, i love this guy and that is retarded if you just marry for money yeah you can marry someone who makes it, but i still think you should love them and that is what i feel for Chris, so why cant people see that? Are they seeing something else in him that I'm not? Chris might have his pasts, but so does everyone else, and he has made such good improvements. He went from this guy that was doing a lot of bad things to getting full custody of his son. Went from having nothing to actually getting something. Going from abusive parents to being a good father to his son. Who cant fall in love what that. AH AH Ah I Love Him and i wish everyone else would see that as well. He might not be able to get everything i want, but he sure does show love for me. * Love is what keeps us together* and we are hitting some hard times and the only thing Chris says is " If we have love nothing can get in the way of that" and I'm thinking what a WACKO here I'm freaking out cause I'm still living with my mom and freaking out cause are car payment is coming up and he took a few days off, and the only thing he can say is that GOSH i wish i was that calm. He doesn't worry about money and i freak out if we spend $25 on something from the mall. HA HA i don't know how he putz up with me and my craziness, but who ever can handle that must love me. :) Did you ever feel like that everything was going wrong and well it really wasn't you were just making it out to be that way? Ever feel like you were doing things alone, but really someone was standing right next you the whole time? Well i am feeling this way and Chris tells me he is here, but for some reason i feel like he is in LA LA land Well thanks for listening to me BITCH cause it felt good letting it all out. :)